This is the full screenplay for Southfield Allotments.
A further concenced version.
To solve his money troubles, when his old AUNT MAGGIE dies, BILLY tells no one and keeps her pensions and benefits going. A group of four close friends help him to bury her in No.28 Southfield Allotments. The elderly relatives of his friends meet a similar fate. TOMMY WATT the allotment supervisor thinks they are growing Marijuana in No 28 and attempts to bust them. It backfires and he gets sacked. They hear Tommy’s old mother is near the end and he joins the gang.
Here is the second draft of a synopsis of Southfield. Dark comedy. A group of friends have an unusual and gruesome solution to their money troubles.
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Southfield Allotments - by Dave Watson - email@example.com
A group of friends have an unusual and gruesome solution to their money troubles.
BILLY is broke. His ex CAROL is threatening court over unpaid maintenance. He gets sacked. SKIPPER BOB the clairvoyant gives him profound advice and a baffling divination.
He is his AUNT MAGGIE’s main carer. She knows he has money trouble. She dies with her pension book, account passwords and £200.00 in her hand. Guided by events and the divination he tells no one and keeps her pensions and benefits going. He temporarily stuffs her body into an upright freezer. He gives Carol some money and she seduces him.
WEASEL calls and demands that he come to a Hank Williams night with TARSEM, BUTCH and COLIN. He arrives at Weasel’s allotment they play “I’ll never get out of this world alive.”
Billy tells them what he’s done. Butch suggests he bury Maggie in No. 28 Southfield Allotments. It belongs to his uncle Sundance who has been buried there for the last 2 years. They all help Billy to transport and bury Maggie.
2 years go by and each of the friends now have old relatives buried in No. 28 and receive their pensions and benefits. They spend a lot of time at Weasel’s allotment playing guitars, singing, reading, cooking and smoking a little skunk. They keep No. 28 tidy so as not to draw attention to it.
TOMMY WATT aka TWATT the allotment supervisor is suspicious. He takes kickbacks from allotment holders who sell plants. He gets the wrong end of the stick and thinks they are growing skunk in No. 28. He blackmails them for a couple of oz. a month. They agree.
Later he half overhears them planning a big hindu style celebration at No. 28 to give thanks to the relatives. He thinks they are talking about a big drug deal. He calls his police man mate MARTIN and they try to catch them single handed in hope of promotion.
The celebration is planned for midnight. Twatt and Martin sneak along the dark allotment path. In No. 28 Billy lights a bonfire throwing a huge fireball into the sky. Tarsem starts yodeling loudly (like Jimmy Rodgers) and they set off small fireworks. Martin thinks the yodeling is the war cry of the “Yardies” and the fireworks gunfire. He calls for backup. They bust the allotment and find a bizarre party but no big drug deal and no skunk. Twatt leaves humiliated, knowing he is in big trouble with his bosses. The party continues in No.28.
Twatt is investigated by the council and sacked. He can’t let it go. He turns up at Weasel’s allotment weeks later. Weasel offers a truce and a joint. They talk and it transpires that Twatt’s old mother is on her death bed. Weasel casually asks about her pensions. They all continue to smoke and talk into the night and Twatt joins the cabal.
As ever feedback is welcome. The full script is to come soon......